What makes my life work?

I made myself work out this morning. I didn't feel like it. I was tired,
after two short nights. But I made myself go, like many mornings, & left the gym feeling great, happy that I kept my promise to myself. The key to life: Making commitments and then keeping them no matter what.

My life works in direct proportion to the commitments I make and keep.
What commitment are you going to keep today, no matter what?

Oneness instead of Separation

What if there is no such thing as separation between you and me. What if we all belong to a collective consciousness? A collective Oneness, if you will. If that is true, then if I hurt you, I am hurting all of us. And if I get angry at you, I am damaging our collective oneness. How can I have enemies if I am one with them?

When a colleague does something that makes me sad or mad, I can choose to forgive him and work with him anyway, because I know that if I move him forward, I will be moving the collective oneness forward as fast as possible. If we are all one, then there is no room for anger, revenge, frustration, disappointment, sabotage. Because those things all damage our collective oneness.

It is only through love and cooperation and harmony and forgiveness that I can move our collective consciousness forward. Who are you having issues with because you are viewing them as separate from you? And what would your relationship with that person look like if you chose to view them as part of you, and treated them accordingly?

Does your past own your future?

From my good friend and LifeStream Basic, Advanced(IPI) and LeaderShape grad Taylor Camp, a young man who is so much wiser than his years:

“You can't let what happened affect what happens. You can’t play a hand based on how you lost the last one. You can't live life in fear of what happened yesterday, last week or last year. The past & future are only as interconnected as you let them be.”

Amen! In what ways you are letting the past interconnect (and mess up) your future?

Can I be great during a slump?

I am in a major slump. Not able to generate any enthusiasm. Feeling totally overwhelmed and like everything depends on everything else. So I am forcing myself to just take the next action, even though I don't feel like it. That is the definition of greatness: Doing what I said I would do, whether I feel like it or not. What commitment are you not keeping because you don't feel like it. Will you do it anyway?

Judging or Listening?

How can I hear what the other person is saying if I am consumed by thoughts of what is wrong with them or what they are saying? In order to hear him/her, I need to notice when I am judging them negatively, and shift away from those judgments and back to being hungry to hear what they have to say and see the value in it. Who are you judging instead of hearing?

Random acts change history

There are moments where someone decides to act, and that act changes the course of history, affecting millions. These decisions are made by ordinary people, not high officials. For example, a mutual friend introduced Steve Jobs to Steve Wozniak. They founded Apple Computer. If he didn't bother, Apple would not exist! So Apple exists because some random guy decided to act. What act are you not taking that might change the course of history?

Connecting with my teens

The best conversations I ever have with my teen and young adult children is on road trips. When can you next take your teenager on a fun road trip for some high impact connection time?

Where do I get mediation CD's?

Last night I put out a big plug for meditation/centering. The best way
to get started is with guided meditation where a voice takes you through
the process of relaxing and focusing in a meditative way. Here are the
two sources of centering CD's that I use:

- Ross Quinn: http://www.globalkeynote.com/page/page/1916743.htm

- Banny Tyskewicz: http://www.njoythejourney.us/ETJListen.html

Love, Fred.

Centering (meditation) is a daily requirement for me

Centering (meditation) is a critical part of my day, because our mind consists of both an inner and an outer piece. We mostly focus on our outer(conscious) mind. But the source of our creative genius & our ability to love/connect with people come from our inner (subconscious) mind, which is only accessed thru centering. So I center at least 15 minutes every day. Ready to center daily and improve the quality of your life?

Judgment kills love and respect

In many conversations with myself or another, I start judging myself or the other person negatively. That causes resentment. The resentment then replaces the respect or love that I have for that person (or myself). Since judgment leads to loss of love/respect, I need to notice the judgment early and shift back to loving and respecting them (or myself) , even if I am not agreeing with them (or myself) in the moment.

Where are you focusing?

Much of the time we focus on what we have not done, rather than on what we have done. Much of the time we focus on the few places in our life where there is pain or problems, rather than focusing on all the things that are going great. Whenever I notice myself focusing on what's not done, I immediately identify something is done or is working and focus on that. Are there times when you could make that shift as well?

Give me love and then I will give you love?

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." The Beatles. Most of us expect to get love first and then give it in response. But I have found that I have to GIVE love (oftentimes repeatedly with nothing coming back in return), before I start to GET love. Standing in front of a wood stove and saying "Give me heat and I will give you wood" does not work. Who can you give love to first?

Success

Success is caused by getting the job done (whatever the job is), in spite of the obstacles and barriers and negative circumstances that come up. If success depended on there being no negative circumstances (aka "a greased skid") then no one would ever succeed. Life throws issues and problems and uncooperative people and bad luck at us all the time. Our job is to do whatever it takes to accomplish the task in the face of all those challenges.

Language matters

Language matters! How we talk about ourselves, others, and our future. It matters.

Compare:

"I will try hard to do it" to "I will do it."

"I suck at this" to "I have not yet mastered it."

"You are a terrible writer" to "Your writing can be improved and I am here to help you."

How we talk to ourselves and others literally creates the future and defines who we are. What are you creating with your language?

Stupid Idiots

Why is he/she being such an idiot? There is no such thing as irrational behavior. However irrational someone’s behavior looks to you, it is completely rational to them, given the information, thoughts, feelings, beliefs and programs they have at the time they take the action. I do great damage to my relationship with someone when, in a conflict with them, I come from the assumption that they are acting irrationally or stupidly. How do you feel when you are doing something that makes sense to you, and the other person tells you that you are an idiot for behaving that way?

A much better approach is to work as hard as needed to see the world through his/her eyes so that I UNDERSTAND why they are acting the way they are. Only after I have that understanding do I have any chance of finding common ground with them, resolving the conflict, and coming up with a plan that will allow us each to fulfill our goals and objectives. Wouldn't you rather have the result than the judgment? Which “idiot” are you going to seek to understand today?

What about the miserable guy at work?

How do I continue to be a forgiving and loving person to someone that is miserable? I see them as a joyful/playful/hopeful 4 year old. And I interact with their childhood spirit rather than their current negative persona (a pile of layers that they have built up over time). This makes it much easier to treat them with love/kindness, knowing that deeply buried inside them is a joyful and loving 4 year old.

Perseverance & Patience

Perseverance & Patience, is what I am learning. Edison performed 10,000 light bulb filament experiments in a 1.5 year period, before discovering the magical formula (thin carbon in a vacuum). How often have I given up well before 10,000 tries, or 1.5 years? What success or benefit was lost when I did that? My current goals demand patience. What person or project in your life deserves more patience and perseverance?

Focus on the gifts or the flaws?

In a relationship with someone, I can choose to focus on their gifts/strengths, or I can choose to focus on their flaws. I choose to focus on their gifts because that is the secret to creating a great relationship.

In my relationship with myself, I have the same choice. I choose to focus on my gifts, because that uplifts and empowers me, while giving me confidence and self-worth. Whose gifts can you focus more on?

The Hokey-Pokey

What if doing the Hokey-Pokey IS what it's all about? Think about it...