Leaders create leaders

"Leaders don't create followers. They create more leaders." Tom Peters.

Last century, leaders controlled the people they led, using fear and manipulation, with the goal being to create as many loyal followers as possible. This century, leaders are creating new leaders, with the goal of empowering people.

It is our job to contribute to the leadership of the people around us, because by doing so, our impact on the world is amplified 1000 times. Every leader I create will create leaders who will create leaders, etc. As a result, the effect I can have on the world is unlimited.

Whose leadership are you developing right now? How many leaders can you create before you die?

Euphoria, as created by 25 ordinary people

I felt love and appreciation tonight from a group of people that was intense and euphoric! To the August 2010 LifeStream Advanced class... You guys really do raise me up. And I am clear that I raise you up. Tonight was nirvana in a living room. 25 people connecting deeply on the basis of love, respect and connection. This is how life is meant to be!

Long Slow Deep Breaths

Most of us agree that being calm, relaxed & centered is a very good thing: Lower stress, getting along better w/ others, feeling better about ourselves, finding a creative solution. But how do we get that sense of calm in the middle of a hectic day? Breathe... Just breathe... 5 long, slow deep breaths takes less than a minute and leaves us in a much better place.Try it right now. You will be amazed how well it works.

Love-based Teamwork

Love-based teamwork: Today my staff was in major disagreement about a very important strategic decision. People stayed calm, showed respect, avoided getting personal, listened hard, worked to see things through others’ eyes, spoke their truth, came from learning, did not attack or manipulate, and created a followup plan with the goal of consensus or “disagree and commit” regarding whatever decision gets made. Are you willing to do this the next time you are in a conflict situation?

Honey or Vinegar?

Grandma always said that "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". Yet we humans so often put out vinegar instead of honey, especially to those we love: Yelling, ignoring, fleeing, lying, withholding, etc. We know we hate vinegar, yet we serve it to our friends, family and colleagues. Who can you start giving honey to instead of vinegar? Who can you give love to right now, even if they are giving you grief?

Back seat drivers

Back seat drivers annoy me to death and cause me great stress. Today I reacted badly to a back seat driver. And yelled at the person to stop. That person shut down for an hour or two. I felt bad. And then it hit me... I am in charge of whether or not I react to back seat driving, and whether or not I allow it to annoy me. So I have decided that I am no longer going to be annoyed by it, and I am no longer going to react to it. Because jumping down the other person's throat doesn't serve me or them.

Looking for love in all the wrong places

We humans go crazy when we feel unloved, especially if we lack self-love, which most of us do. Lacking self-love, we look to others for the love that we need to validate ourselves.

In other words, Who We Are is dependent on getting love from others, so if the perceived love from others decreases, that means the loss of our identity, which turns us into fearful monsters who lash out or retreat in destructive ways.

Until we learn how to produce our own self-love, we are dependent on others for our sense of identity. That is why it is so important for us to love ourselves, and to give love to others.

Who is acting badly right now because you are not feeding them the love they crave? Whose love are you addicted to in order to maintain your sense of self?

What makes my life work?

I made myself work out this morning. I didn't feel like it. I was tired,
after two short nights. But I made myself go, like many mornings, & left the gym feeling great, happy that I kept my promise to myself. The key to life: Making commitments and then keeping them no matter what.

My life works in direct proportion to the commitments I make and keep.
What commitment are you going to keep today, no matter what?

Oneness instead of Separation

What if there is no such thing as separation between you and me. What if we all belong to a collective consciousness? A collective Oneness, if you will. If that is true, then if I hurt you, I am hurting all of us. And if I get angry at you, I am damaging our collective oneness. How can I have enemies if I am one with them?

When a colleague does something that makes me sad or mad, I can choose to forgive him and work with him anyway, because I know that if I move him forward, I will be moving the collective oneness forward as fast as possible. If we are all one, then there is no room for anger, revenge, frustration, disappointment, sabotage. Because those things all damage our collective oneness.

It is only through love and cooperation and harmony and forgiveness that I can move our collective consciousness forward. Who are you having issues with because you are viewing them as separate from you? And what would your relationship with that person look like if you chose to view them as part of you, and treated them accordingly?

Does your past own your future?

From my good friend and LifeStream Basic, Advanced(IPI) and LeaderShape grad Taylor Camp, a young man who is so much wiser than his years:

“You can't let what happened affect what happens. You can’t play a hand based on how you lost the last one. You can't live life in fear of what happened yesterday, last week or last year. The past & future are only as interconnected as you let them be.”

Amen! In what ways you are letting the past interconnect (and mess up) your future?

Can I be great during a slump?

I am in a major slump. Not able to generate any enthusiasm. Feeling totally overwhelmed and like everything depends on everything else. So I am forcing myself to just take the next action, even though I don't feel like it. That is the definition of greatness: Doing what I said I would do, whether I feel like it or not. What commitment are you not keeping because you don't feel like it. Will you do it anyway?

Judging or Listening?

How can I hear what the other person is saying if I am consumed by thoughts of what is wrong with them or what they are saying? In order to hear him/her, I need to notice when I am judging them negatively, and shift away from those judgments and back to being hungry to hear what they have to say and see the value in it. Who are you judging instead of hearing?

Random acts change history

There are moments where someone decides to act, and that act changes the course of history, affecting millions. These decisions are made by ordinary people, not high officials. For example, a mutual friend introduced Steve Jobs to Steve Wozniak. They founded Apple Computer. If he didn't bother, Apple would not exist! So Apple exists because some random guy decided to act. What act are you not taking that might change the course of history?

Connecting with my teens

The best conversations I ever have with my teen and young adult children is on road trips. When can you next take your teenager on a fun road trip for some high impact connection time?

Where do I get mediation CD's?

Last night I put out a big plug for meditation/centering. The best way
to get started is with guided meditation where a voice takes you through
the process of relaxing and focusing in a meditative way. Here are the
two sources of centering CD's that I use:

- Ross Quinn: http://www.globalkeynote.com/page/page/1916743.htm

- Banny Tyskewicz: http://www.njoythejourney.us/ETJListen.html

Love, Fred.

Centering (meditation) is a daily requirement for me

Centering (meditation) is a critical part of my day, because our mind consists of both an inner and an outer piece. We mostly focus on our outer(conscious) mind. But the source of our creative genius & our ability to love/connect with people come from our inner (subconscious) mind, which is only accessed thru centering. So I center at least 15 minutes every day. Ready to center daily and improve the quality of your life?

Judgment kills love and respect

In many conversations with myself or another, I start judging myself or the other person negatively. That causes resentment. The resentment then replaces the respect or love that I have for that person (or myself). Since judgment leads to loss of love/respect, I need to notice the judgment early and shift back to loving and respecting them (or myself) , even if I am not agreeing with them (or myself) in the moment.

Where are you focusing?

Much of the time we focus on what we have not done, rather than on what we have done. Much of the time we focus on the few places in our life where there is pain or problems, rather than focusing on all the things that are going great. Whenever I notice myself focusing on what's not done, I immediately identify something is done or is working and focus on that. Are there times when you could make that shift as well?

Give me love and then I will give you love?

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." The Beatles. Most of us expect to get love first and then give it in response. But I have found that I have to GIVE love (oftentimes repeatedly with nothing coming back in return), before I start to GET love. Standing in front of a wood stove and saying "Give me heat and I will give you wood" does not work. Who can you give love to first?

Success

Success is caused by getting the job done (whatever the job is), in spite of the obstacles and barriers and negative circumstances that come up. If success depended on there being no negative circumstances (aka "a greased skid") then no one would ever succeed. Life throws issues and problems and uncooperative people and bad luck at us all the time. Our job is to do whatever it takes to accomplish the task in the face of all those challenges.