It all starts with Self-Love

If I don’t love and value myself, then I become dependent on others for that, which leads to major problems, because if I need someone’s love to be whole, then if they leave or threaten to leave, I am incomplete/damaged, causing me to force the other person to keep loving me. So for my own mental health, I need to love and value myself. That allows me to accept the love from others as a bonus, rather than a need.