Declaration versus fear

All major progress and the success of all startup companies depends upon leaders like me taking a stand for their success, in the face of my fear. There is huge power in publicly declaring how the future is going to look, and then taking action based on that declaration rather than on my fears.

Effectiveness

Would you rather be right or effective? In any situation, you can only have one or the other. People so often choose to be right (blame others, steal credit, make excuses, say “I told you so”, etc) rather than accomplish their desired result? Where in your life right now are you being right at the expense of accomplishing something that is important to you?

What messages are you sending?

When it comes to work and personal relationships, reality is 9/10 perception. The way I am seeing someone is how they will appear. What I expect from someone is what I will get. The messages I am sending determine the message I will receive back. People respond directly to the vibes I am giving off. Who in your life could use a shift in what you are sending them?

Return on Investment: A relationship no-no

People so often make the mistake of looking at romance as an investment with a return: "I put so much into this relationship, and I get nothing in return". As a businessman I love returns on investment. But looking at ROI in a relationship dooms the relationship, everytime. Forget the return. Love yourself and the other person and be happy about that. What they do is up to them and if it benefits you it is a bonus.

Deep Breaths

Taking deep breaths whenever I am stressed or about to overreact calms me down and makes me much more effective with the people around me.

Patience...

When I am faced with having to do something that bugs me, patience is the key. “Lord please grant me patience, and grant it to me NOW!” But I know that patience is not granted. It is generated by me taking a stand that I am not going to get angry or frustrated, and I am going to stay effective, no matter what. Where in your life could you be bringing some more patience?

More Parenting

The degree to which our kids will trust us with their inner thoughts and mistakes is determined by how willing we are to avoid reacting and stay calm when they share controversial or bad things with us.

Parenting

Parenting cannot be planned nor can it be scheduled. It is opportunistic, and happens in-the-moment, as situations arise and my kids are open to coaching. Opportunities come up in realtime, and I have to be there in order to capitalize on them.

Time Management

I am in charge of my time. At the end of each day, I spent the time exactly the way I chose to. Sometimes a big decision I made (like which job to take) drives how my time gets spent. In other cases, I make conscious/unconscious choices throughout my day that determine how my time is spent. Who are you blaming for your time allocation, and are you willing to take responsibility for it instead? There is power in that.

Being heard is the key

Before someone will follow my coaching or my correction, they need to know that I heard their issue. Listen first. Talk Second.

Help them by letting them help you

Today I let my son coach me on improving my skiing technique. It lit him up and it lit me up! The best way for me to empower someone is to let them empower me. The most important thing to most people is to feel useful and see that they are contributing to others. So if I want to give to someone I care about, the best thing I can do is to let them give to me. Who can you allow to help or empower you today?

Being joyfully alive is a contact sport

My perception determines whether a situation is negative or merely a challenge. Being joyfully alive ain't for sissies. It can be hard. If it wasn't, everyone would do it...

Being there for people I care about

Being there for someone is one of the best feelings in the world. And having people know they can call me and get active listening and powerful support and coaching makes my life so meaningful.

When Something Bad Happens

When something bad happens, staying calm and responding based on the facts and the goals rather than reacting based on emotion is the key.

Resist or Improve?

When someone tells me something I don’t want to hear, I have two choices: Get defensive and fight back, or look hard for the value and usefulness in what they are saying, and then make improvements. I choose feedback and improvement. What feedback are you missing out on?

Goals versus Circumstances

I need to focus on my goal and not the challenging circumstances. There will always be circumstances in the way of my goal. It is my job to achieve the goal in spite of the circumstance. I can only do that if I stay focused on the goal and the value of achieving it, to myself and many others.

Expectations

Some days I just don’t live up to the expectations placed on me by myself and others. On those days, I love and accept myself anyway.

What gets me up in the morning now

Life for me is no longer about meeting my own wants and needs. I have a much bigger purpose now: Profoundly and positively impacting the lives of as many people as possible. That is what gets me up in the morning these days.

Being Right vs Being Effective

In any situation, I can be right, or I can be effective. Usually I can only have one of the two. I choose to be effective, at the expense my righteousness, my ego, and my arrogance. Because that is what leads to peace and happiness, for me and for the other people who are involved.

Conflict

In a conflict, if at least one person stays calm, listen to the other person/people, and operate based on what is best for everyone, then the outcome will almost always be positive. If no one takes that calm approach, the conflict will almost always spin out of control and damage will occur. I know that it is my job to do whatever it takes to be the calm one in every conflict.

Context

Thought for the day: Context is everything. How I look at a project determines how much I value it, what attitude I will have towards it, and ultimately the success or failure of the project. It just comes down to how I choose to view it.

Forgiveness and Celebration

Some days I do not spend my time the way I intended to. I can either beat myself up about it, or forgive myself and celebrate whatever I accomplished doing the things that I did spend my time on. I choose to forgive myself and celebrate. What have you done lately that you could forgive yourself for and celebrate?